March 11, 2025 (although finally posted in June)
Today is a strange day. I'm enjoying working somewhat, I just made a pot of spaghetti for dinner in my new, beautiful cast iron dutch oven, and my animals seem happy. But still, I'm up and down with a depression feeling. I'm working on a very large bid for Dustin - I love working for him but I don't want to follow-through and get it done. Of course tomorrow I'll be in the office and it will all get doen so maybe my motivation is headed to tomorrow. Who knows?
I miss Lance and at the same time I miss what Bev and I once had. I push it away all of the time. I miss my Mom but she didn't like me either. It's time to go into 5th dimension living and I'm ready but confusion, depression, waiting, clutter, mind craziness, on and on and on . . . like I said, just strange.
