4 years ago today

May 20, 2016

I woke around 6:15.  I walked downstairs to get some coffee but first to check on my Mother.  She was in a hospice bed and I knew she was close to death.  She hadn't been awake for almost 2 days.  Unconscious. 

I walked into her room and I really don't know what I did past that except I kissed her on the forehead, told her it wouldn't be long, and told her I loved her.  I walked out of the room and went to the coffee pot.  When I came back past the room, my wife was in the room with her.  She looked up at me and said "I think she's gone." 

I loved her and she loved me.  A life of misunderstandings and heartache, we never saw eye to eye.  But I DID love her and I still do.  She's my Mommy.  She's who I wish for when I don't feel good.  She's who I call on when I'm trying to cook something new (such a good cook, she was!).  She's the one whose presence I can smell in the house when I walk near her room. 

Nope, it wasn't perfect but it wasn't suppose to be!  Lessons we both learned - whoa, tough ones.  Forgiveness.  Tough.  Whew.  I love you, Mommy.  Rest.  Until I see you again. xoxoxo