Gotta tell ya, aging is very strange. It's like you start out in one category (young, hip and beautiful) and all of a sudden you're in another (old, saggy and out of touch). When does this happen? Meantime, everyone in my age group still thinks I'm young and beautiful but I know that they're wrong because they're old, saggy, and out of touch. All of a sudden I can't hold a conversation with a 20-something because I have NO IDEA what they're talking about. Music, movies, electronics, games, books, heros, stars, etc. etc. I know NONE of them.
I'm not really hating this state, more amused than anything, and wondering, when did this happen? I love to enjoy my "old" stuff -- but even my favorite singer (who is, by the way, old like me) has youngster fans who don't remember her first album, her last 20 hair styles, her last relationship. How very odd? I certainly haven't forgotten the impact of that relationship on her at the time, us as fans at the time, and the music!!! OMG!! It's just weird getting older and finding people who think that time started when they were born 23 years ago. I know, I know. I was the SAME way -- just saying, it's strange.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Losing someone special
My brother and sister-in-law have decided on divorce. Where to begin to express the sadness I have. I've come to love my sister-in-law, not as a sister exactly, but as someone who is part of my family. She is after all the mother of the babies I love to love on but as special as that is, it isn't entirely why I love her.
You see, I have an understanding of the enormity of the universe and how we are all connected. We're each light energy and all part of the same I AM. The only way to "be" in this life is to love one another. So when my baby brother (whom I love very much) says "I love this one" I begin to love her too. Then, I begin to not only love her because he loves her but because I have found something in her that is also in me. Humanity. Joys and hurts and smiles and tears. We all experience these and in their existence can relate to and love each other.
So, now what? Now, she's angry and hurt and wants me to side with her against my brother. I cannot and wouldn't if I could. I don't know all the details of their marriage -- it wasn't mine to live. It's not my pain to hurt. It's not my loss to live through.
Or is it? The only thing that stays the same, is change. My nephews will always be my nephews. Will I be able to create a new relationship with their mother? I don't know. At this point, no. I have hope for the future but I'll admit, I'm scared.
You see, I have an understanding of the enormity of the universe and how we are all connected. We're each light energy and all part of the same I AM. The only way to "be" in this life is to love one another. So when my baby brother (whom I love very much) says "I love this one" I begin to love her too. Then, I begin to not only love her because he loves her but because I have found something in her that is also in me. Humanity. Joys and hurts and smiles and tears. We all experience these and in their existence can relate to and love each other.
So, now what? Now, she's angry and hurt and wants me to side with her against my brother. I cannot and wouldn't if I could. I don't know all the details of their marriage -- it wasn't mine to live. It's not my pain to hurt. It's not my loss to live through.
Or is it? The only thing that stays the same, is change. My nephews will always be my nephews. Will I be able to create a new relationship with their mother? I don't know. At this point, no. I have hope for the future but I'll admit, I'm scared.
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