5 years ago today

5 years ago today was the last time that I saw my sweet Daddy alive. He had asked me to take my mother shopping so she'd have something to wear for Easter. So, after work, I went and got her and he was there. He came out of the back of the house with a navy blue t-shirt on from JC Penney's (where mother had worked for 10-11 years). The shirt had children's shoes on it and I said, "Do you have Chase's shoes on your shirt?". He couldn't hear me. He was hearing double. Aneurysm? I don't know. It breaks my heart. I don't know what he died of. I was so irritated with him because he wanted me to take Mother shopping when I had to work the next day.

After we shopped we went by Atlanta Bread Company and bought sandwiches and took them home, one for him too. He still couldn't hear me talking to him, the last time I ever ate a meal with him. I was so irritated. I absolutely HATE myself for the way I felt toward him on the very last day I ever saw him and now it's been 5 years and I miss him so bad. I'm so sorry Daddy. I so hope you can read this and know how much I miss you and love you and how much I regret being so moody. I know I do it to Mother now, KNOWING any day could be my last day with her.

This time of year is so hard . . . I wonder if I'll ever feel better about losing my Dad. Somehow I don't think so.

I LOVE YOU DADDY I LOVE YOU DADDY I LOVE YOU DADDY I LOVE YOU DADDY