Hello Daddy

The 3rd anniversary of my Daddy's passing has come and gone. I was so sad, so intent on remembering both the several days before and after his death date. I ordered flowers for the alter at Mother's church, in memory of Dad, in honor of Mother. I miss him so much. Does he have the slightest idea how much I miss him? God, I hope so!!

What I wouldn't give to call him up just for a second ~ Hi Daddy! I would say. I love you!! Are you ok? Sweet Jesus how hard it is to lose your Daddy. Was there something I could have done to keep him here? I don't think so but looking back there are so many signs that MAYBE should have been recognized. All I know is that I failed him in that way. I try not to second guess myself but it's so hard because I desperately miss him. I want to say Hello Daddy out loud to the man I called daddy. Not to the air. Not to the computer. To him. Hello sweet Daddy. Do you know how much I miss you? How much I want to call you on the phone? How much I want to hear from you? I can't wait to see you. I'm so looking forward to that day. I'm going to scream from the rooftops. Today I'm going to Finally see my Daddy.

Will the pain ever get better? I don't know . . . I hate not knowing . . .

Somewhere my Daddy is and I'm trying to get a message to him. Daddy do you hear me? Daddy can you see me? Daddy can you hug me? I love you so much. Please don't forget me. Please be happy. That's all I ever wanted.