Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Happy Day

Happy
really
back at work
back on a diet
back working out
back to the routine
looking forward
to the next
get away!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Lovin' on the Babies

Going to KC
for
Thanksgiving
this year . . .

My nephews
are 7 1/2 months
and 22 months ~
They're a
handful their
Dad says . .

my baby
brother ~
a Dad

I just
love
them
and
the
yumminess
of
kissing
on them

Thanks
Wes
for
being
a
Dad
so
I can love on the babies.

Hi Brady!
Hi Chase!
Your
Aunt Mellie
loves you!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Gone Again

Have you
ever felt
that just
below the
surface of your
conscious mind
is something else,
something you
almost remember
or
almost forgot?

a vague feeling
of falling . .

a recognition
and then
gone again

Sometimes it
has to do with a
person
sometimes
a thing . .

Exciting and
then
gone . .

again

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Strong Coffee

He would have liked it
strong and black with
a little cream . . .

I made it for us
me and my Daddy
couldn't help but
think of him
couldn't help but
cry

I miss him so bad

Daddy,
I love you.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Sad Really

I
don't
believe
that it
can ever
again be
as wonderful
as it was
when
so
many
years
ago
she
would
call
and
my
heart
would
stop

Living
life
does
things
to
a
person

I
will
be
surprised
if I
ever
feel
so
young
again

Maybe
life
will
surprise
me
but
I
doubt
it

sad
really

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Aunt Jean

I had a dream last night

I was watching a movie on tv
and my Aunt Jean
screamed at me . . .
"Melonie! Get over here
and do my hair!!"

I always loved my
Aunt Jean and at one
time . . she loved me too.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

2 years ago today

2 years ago today
I lit my last
took a shower
put on the patch

2 years ago today
I gave it up
said I'm done
enough's enough

2 years ago today
it amazes me still
that 2 years ago today
a goal I fulfilled.

My how time flies!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Hate the World Day

Sometimes ~

I hate the world

I don't know why

Everything annoys me

Everyone wants something
from me
It's all take take take
my money
my time
my strength
my energy

PMS?
probably
depression?
not again

I'm sick of it
I'm tired of it

I don't feel loved
I don't feel cared about
I don't feel good and
I don't want to feel anything . . .

Monday, November 07, 2005

13 Fish on 1 Worm

When I was young
my family went on vacation
Wisconsin I think
maybe Minnesota
my Mom
my Dad
two brothers
and me

Camping was inexpensive
I later found out
I just thought it was fun
and
Daddy liked to fish
and I liked to
eat the fish!

We got in a row boat
and went fishing
His middle name
must have been
"patience"
How else do you fish
with 3 kids in a row boat??

I got a bite!!

I pulled in the
first fish
and was excited
that I had enough
worm left to
fish again!

Caught #2
and #3

they ate the head
and the tail
off the worm,
how do you know which is which?
4
5
6
a stump of a worm
but I'll try again
7
8
9
poor worm is bird feed
I'll throw it in again anyway
10
11
12
a shiny gold hook
is all that's left
who's looking?
will the fish eat the hook?
13
BINGO!

I have a picture of that stringer
and me and my DAD!

The FIRST

I've always had a lot to say
but never have consistently
written anything down
Maybe this BLOG will help
So here's my first

Life is better than it was
lost my Dad April 04
Went to therapy
my job sucked
got on anti-depressants
gained 25 pounds
depressing

July 05
got off anti-depressants
had brain zaps
managers got fired
got a new job
depression coming back
what's up with that???
adrenal fatigue
now it's
herbs
diet
exercise
friendship
family

Some of it's still rough
but I'm getting there.